Don’t treat others as a waste-basket for your words
If we have a lot of waste in our house, we wouldn’t throw it at any visitor. But strangely we sometimes throw our waste-words at others.
We often have a lot of garbage in our minds: anger, lust, greed, resentment, cynicism and so forth. And we throw that garbage at others through our unconsidered words.
If small children speak whatever comes to their mind, people often don’t take their words very seriously, because they know that those children don’t have any bad intention and are not mature enough to think before speaking.
But if adults start speaking whatever comes to their mind, their words are seen quite differently. Because adults are not considered guileless or immature like children, their words often shock or infuriate others.
When we give vent to whatever thoughts and emotions that come up within us, people have to figure out our unprocessed thoughts. That becomes a burden for them and, if our thoughts contain something offensive, they feel hurt.
What if we are so disturbed that we need to vent our feelings to someone? Such venting has to be done discerningly only with those who will solace and strengthen us, not those who will misunderstand and label us.
If we let ourselves become unfiltered pathways for verbalizing our inner world, people, in order to shield themselves from unnecessary burden or hurt, will stop taking our words seriously, and then stop taking us seriously.
The Bhagavad-gita (12.19) states that a characteristic of an advanced devotee is that they stay steady amidst praise and criticism – and remain silent and grave, not giving in to the urge to speak thoughtlessly.
If we want others to take our words seriously, we need to invest the necessary time for processing our thoughts carefully and for learning the sensitivity for expressing them appropriately.
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