Suppose we live in a neighborhood where robbery is common. We will naturally build a strong fence around our home. Does building a fence signify that we distrust our ability to defend ourselves or that we distrust our neighbors? Not necessarily; it just signifies that we don’t under-estimate the dangers. 

Just as physical fences can aid us, so can behavioral fences. Suppose someone is a recovering alcoholic. To prevent relapses, they may rigidly refuse cocktail party invitations — and that may be a vital precondition for their recovery. 

Pertinently, the Bhagavad-gita (02.58) underscores the necessity of fences: it urges us to distance our consciousness from tempting objects just as a tortoise withdraws its limbs into a shell. Similarly, traditions across the world have had some boundaries to regulate interactions between the genders because therein lies the oldest and strongest temptation that we humans are vulnerable to. Those exact boundaries may not always be feasible in today’s world where both genders study and work together. Still, the temptation remains – those boundaries can’t be rejected; they need to be adapted to our cultural contexts and our individual weaknesses. Such behavioral boundaries doesn’t mean we don’t trust each other; it just means we don’t underestimate the power of temptation. If we define and explain appropriate behavioral boundaries, they can help keep interactions socially smooth yet spiritually safe. 

In today’s hi-tech culture, another fence we may need to erect and protect is digital. With the Internet easily available, the privacy of our rooms can become the stage for indiscriminate surfing binges. A net filter may aid us in protecting ourselves. 

By introspecting to understand our own vulnerabilities, by improvising to build the fences necessary for protecting ourselves and by inspecting regularly to ensure that the fences are functional, we can protect ourselves from much avoidable trouble. 

 

Think it over:

  • While setting behavioral boundaries, how do we need to consider today’s context?
  • What fence do we need in today’s digital world? 
  • What behavioral fences do you need?

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