For changing yourself, focus on comprehending yourself, not on criticizing yourself

Suppose someone criticizes us constantly about something we are doing. Instead of understanding where we are coming from, if they simply judge and condemn us, then their constant critical mentality will irritate, dishearten and alienate us. Instead of considering if and how to apply what they are saying, our energy will get caught largely in avoiding them and getting away from them.

When the approach of constant criticism toward oneself rarely works when someone else applies it to us, why do we think that that same approach will work if we apply it to ourselves? If we become our own unrelenting critic, we may end up becoming disheartened and disgusted with ourselves – either with ourselves as the faulty person or as the faultfinding person. Either way, we end up being the losers because we are our first resource – it is we who have to elevate ourselves with ourselves, as the Bhagavad-gita (06.05) indicates. Even if some others are their to help us – be it our outer mentor or our inner supreme mentor – it is we who have to internalize their guidance at the time of instruction and then give that guidance to ourselves at the time of application. That’s why when dealing with ourselves, we need to begin by comprehending ourselves – understanding what makes us click and what makes us crumble. If we fail to keep a resolution, instead of simply condemning ourselves for being weak-willed, we need to analyze how and why we flounder: what our thinking is when we make the resolution, how our thinking changes when the time to apply that resolution comes, and what is the reasoning, however misleading, by which our mind changes our resolution.

When we thus understand ourselves, we will be able to catch our faulty reasoning precisely and correct it effectively.


Think it over:

  • Why does a constant critical mentality not work?
  • What does comprehending ourselves mean?
  • Identify some unsatisfactory behavior of yours and contemplate that behavior to better understand yourself.

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Manage the garbage in your mind, and minimize the garbage to manage in your life
Experience becomes our best teacher when we experience the Best Teacher
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